10 July 2023|Thoughts about
When contemplating retirement, I spent a lot of time worrying about what other people would think about my decision but I spent much less time thinking about how I would feel about myself. Stopping work can potentially take away a large part of your identity and if you're not careful, it can also impact your perception of self-worth. Over the last 18 months, I've had a lot of strange looks from people when they ask what I do and I say that I'm retired. "So what did you do before you retired then?" is the usual follow-up question. It's almost as if they can't relate to me if I don't do "something". Occasionally, I reply that I'm self-employed or if I'm feeling cantankerous, I say I'm a blogger and that they better watch what they say in case I write about them! Maybe it betrays some of their own insecurities about how they would identify themselves without a job? Perhaps my need to furnish them with what I think is an acceptable reply betrays mine?
You are more than what you "do"
What someone does for work doesn't define or value them as a person. Unfortunately, though, it often influences how (some) other people perceive you. Many obsess over status and like to measure themselves against others, with jobs being one of the ways they do that. It reminds me of this sketch from Mitchell and Webb https://youtu.be/THNPmhBl-8I Hopefully, that link works, but if not, please search youtube for "Mitchell and Webb Brain Surgeon". I think it captures what I'm trying to describe above.
So who am I today?
To be honest I'm still trying to adjust to life after work, learning to be comfortable in my own skin and finding who I really want to be. I don't have to fit into one box or have a single label though. Husband, father, brother, son, golfer, walker, wine glass philosopher, friend, advisor, wannabe psychologist, entrepreneur (with no business ideas so far!) Mr Benn wore many costumes.
I have a friend who recently introduced me as a writer, which I took as a huge, but undeserved, compliment. Currently a scribbler, not yet a writer, but who knows where this journey will take me!
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