Deciding to retire at 52

31 December 2022|Thoughts about

When I was younger, retiring early had never really occurred to me. Sure, I knew people who had done it, but they usually worked in the police or fire brigade with generous pensions and often another part-time job ready for them. As time went on, life events changed my perceptions. Family and health (physical and mental) have been the main drivers. My job was very rewarding (financially and intellectually) but could often be very stressful and as time went on I was finding it increasingly difficult to switch it off and relax. Even on holiday work was always there in the background and family definitely didn't get the best of me. While we were able to afford a very nice lifestyle, our quality of life was suffering. Someone once told me that if you measure your own self-worth by the size of your bank balance then there will always be someone better than you. I fell down the rabbit hole of thinking that if I worked harder, earned more and bought bigger and better "stuff", then that would compensate for all the other things that were missing. My perspectives become distorted. I was wrong.

I was probably in my mid 40's when I really started thinking about how possible early retirement could be. But I had three kids, a responsible job and various financial commitments, so thought it was just unrealistic. However, I decided to set myself some 5-year targets that I intended to review at 50 and 55 (how organised!). I hadn't seriously thought I could retire before 55 so there was plenty of time ahead, we were on top of things and there was no big rush.

Then, in December 2016, after a bit of a drawn-out illness, our daughter was diagnosed with leukaemia. We had recently moved into a large old house that I had fallen in love with (and rather steamrollered the rest of the family to move) but that needed considerable renovation work (much more than expected once we started). We were busy with that upgrade work and looking forward to Christmas when we got the diagnosis and life changed forever. I probably didn't realise just how profoundly at the time.

The following two and a half years were consumed by treatment protocols and the constant stress about our daughters’ health. We also had to press ahead with the renovation work on the house. Around about this time, I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and put on daily medication to keep that under control. Even though my dad died when he was 47 (I was 15) I hadn't really thought too much about my own mortality. I lived a much healthier lifestyle than he did. Being confronted with a cancer diagnosis in our daughter changed that and we had to face up to some unpleasant realities. Being asked by my then 8-year-old daughter if she was going to die was the most difficult conversation I hope I will ever have.

I was reminded most starkly that there are lots of things that money can't buy.

We were lucky, treatment was successful and ended in Spring 2019. Once we got the approval of the doctors we were able to get away for a family holiday in Cyprus. It was just what we needed. Time to relax as a family and enjoy some time away. It also provided the space and time to reflect on what we had just gone through and how we might like to live differently in future.

Much thought, planning and external council were involved over the coming months to decide what "different" looked like. Did I really want to retire or was it just down to the recent family circumstances? Could we afford to do it? Would I be letting too many people down? What would the rest of (our) the world think of the decision etc etc? There was a lot to process.

While I believed we could afford for me to retire, I didn't know if I was mentally ready to do it. As much as my wife and I talked about it at home I decided to also seek some professional counselling. I would definitely recommend that to anyone thinking about early retirement as it really helped me better understand why I wanted to do this. Mental health is just as important as physical health. You would visit a doctor for a physical ailment so there should be no stigma attached to seeing someone about mental health issues. Support from family and friends is great, but sometimes they're not the right people to talk to. The independence of counselling helped me process my feelings about our daughters’ illness and split that from the career decision. Along with other things, it helped me deal with the psychological aspect of preparing for retirement. How would I feel about myself, my family role etc? It helped me prepare and get mentally ready.

Fortunately, when I explained things to my business partners they were supportive and understood my reasons. We put a managed transition plan in place that minimised the impact on clients and the business while enabling me to leave at the end of 2021. I made the jump.